This article will help you better understand what coaching is. It will also help illustrate why some people are stagnating whereas others are succeeding in life.
The Image
Maslow’s pyramid is a good way to explain and demystify coaching through a single image.
Simply put, it illustrates the five basic needs of all human beings. Just take a look and I will explain below:
Although this picture already states a lot, here are some additional explanations.
All human beings:
- have basic needs (first 4 levels of the pyramid);
- have a desire to evolve (top of the pyramid) , consciously or unconsciously, after they have met most of their basic needs;
- face difficulties in life, and;
- are either succeeding in life, or are finding it difficult and are stagnating.
Depending on your ability to cope and solve problems, you may spend more or less time at the top of the pyramid, a place where you can thrive and create your life as you wish.
For those who are struggling, here’s the good news: you are NOT the problem.
The problem is that you haven’t been equipped with the tools required to solve life’s problems, because they are not taught in school.
Living in the past = Stagnation
People who live in the past often have a negative attitude. They employ “limiting language”, as shown in the image above.
- They don’t learn from the past and therefore repeat the same mistakes.
- They have a victim mentality.
- They don’t act to improve their lives because they think positive change is impossible and the world is set in its ways.
The good news is that this attitude can be changed.
Living in the Present and having a vision of the future = Success
People who succeed in life learn from the past and become stronger as a result. They also create a vision for their future.
- They use the language of possibility.
- They take action to improve their life.
- They know they are evolving even as the world is evolving.
People who live in the past focus on problems, whereas people who live in the present and have vision for the future focus on solutions and opportunities.
Therapy
Some people experience a lot difficulty meeting their basic needs needs as shown in the first four levels of the pyramid. If you feel persistently depressed or sad, or if you have just gone through a tragedy which prevents you from functioning normally—such as a broken relationship or the loss of a loved one—then therapy is the solution.
Coaching
Coaching helps solve the life problems that prevent you from focusing on your self-fulfillment.
In essence, coaching is:
- a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires you to define and reach both your personal and professional goals much more quickly and easily than without a coach;
- a partnership that focuses on taking action to achieve your vision, goals, and desires, and;
- the discovery of your true self, which increases your level of perception and responsibility.
In short, therapy helps those who are going through great emotional diffculties to return to a balanced life. Meanwhile, coaching helps emotionally stable people reach extraordinary heights and develop their full potential in all aspects of their lives.
This article has showed you that successful people perceive the world differently. They see opportunities and solutions where others only see problems. You also learned that coaching can help you become more successful by helping you solve your current problems while simultaneously enabling you to plan and build your future.
In a future article , I will discuss the tools you need to cope with life’s problems .
Do not hesitate to contact me for more information or for a free coaching session.
Another great article Pierre.
Thanks Steve!
Hi Pierre
Thanks for your article, an interesting read. I think this is a valiant attempt to simplify and distinguish the boundaries between therapy and coaching. This is never an easy challenge and has been debated and picked apart for years without clear boundaries so great effort.
My concern is that in your simplification you have omitted huge parts of coaching. Specifically I refer you to the wording ’emotionally stable’ and the concepts around this. I see you are CTI trained so you will get my view.
Your article is strongly skewed towards fulfilment coaching and seems to completely negate process work / coaching. People’s past shows up daily in their behaviours, it affects and impacts on them emotionally and limits their growth. You seem to point people towards focussing on the future without addressing the past, which I am of the opinion is a futile exercise.
I don’t believe therapy is the only route for addressing huge emotional issues like relationship break-ups amongst others. Coaching can be hugely effective in dealing with this, allowing people to fully experience the emotional pain they feel, letting them work through that and find the lesson they need to move forward. This is coaching and not therapy.
There is so much I could share so one last point. The work of Brene Brown on vulnerability, connectivity and shame as well as the work of Matthew Lieberman on our social brains may provide you with more ammunition to widen you barriers and stretch your coaching approach in service of your clients.
You will find that the latest research in the field of Neuroscience, specifically around our social brains is suggesting and providing evidence to indicate that Maslow may have got it wrong and that the need for social connectivity is a basic need that has to be met.
Having said that, keep impacting your clients and making a difference in this world.
Thanks again for engaging with me in such an amazing topic.
#iamstephenlight #leadershipcoach #executivecoach
Thanks Stephen!
Your comments are totally appropriate and on target.
I had similar comments on other blogs.
Please just know that there is a sequel to this article that will be published in just a few days.
in this sequel (which as already been written) I talk about the fact that Coaching can help a lot in the areas of emotional issues.
Since I wrote these articles to educate the general public about coaching, I tried not to go too deep in theories so it would remain clear for them.
So stay tuned and your feedback will be welcomed once again.
Thanks again!
Pierre
I have been using maslow’s hierarchy as a tool for communication most recently.
I am curious as to your your divide in the triangle.
More recently my coaching has encountered a number of people who as a consequence of continuous change in the work place have found themselves being drawn back to the lower levels of safety and security.
This can often be at odds with a sense of belonging that has grown in the group that they inhabit.
This occurs when the very group they have dedicated much of themselves to begins to threaten the safety and security of their life (ie, the ideas, beliefs, constructs either internal or external that hold importance to them).
We are from birth programmed with a need for attachment (whatever this be).
So to split the triangle and identify coaching as being purely associated with the top section and therapy at the bottom would be a risk, the risk being the exclusion of what lies beneath.
When I explore the model I do so with the intention to identify where the misalignment may be and it is via this approach that we learn that it can easily be the misalignment of the organisation that in turn creates the response within the individual.
In times of austerity (yeah I’m not digging the word either) what we find is that the concept of working towards the greater good…the limiting in the short term for the longer term benefit, creates an unnatural split.
The restriction of money creates a restriction of freedom, the freedom of thought of innovation and of moving forward towards something greater.
This restriction creates fear and fear as we know is easily absorbed….we only have to watch the news or read the paper to know that.
What happens to populations or groups where fear and vulnerability is high?
We stick….and even when we want to create movement and momentum someone somewhere else will see costs, think of them as risks, and in a risk averse financially unstable environment these ideas can and sadly more often than not be shut down.
Back to stuck.
By working with the model and viewing this within a psychological model of organisational coaching and awareness we can endeavour to release some of the blocks.
It starts brick by brick.
Enabling one to understand and thus take the learnings and pass them on.
Momentum can be created, but arguably only when the below the surface stuff is understood.
I will look forward to the next instalment.
Thank you for sharing and best wishes
Naomi.
Thanks for your comments Naomi!
I had a similar comment on linkedin about the fact that we are sometimes facing setbacks in life.
When we are facing a tragedy of anykind we often get confronted with get drawn back to unsafe territory where we have to battle again in order to regain what we previously had.
I hope the next installment will answer your concerns.
With all the feedback that I received I think this image will evolve into something that will be a better representation of all the possibilities for coaching and therapy.
Perfectly written!
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https://dussaultexpert.com/en/#take-your-first-step-toward-more-success
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